I beat myself up. It's a horrible habit I have. I'm working on reducing the amount of negative self-talk I have, and since I've been eating better and exercising more, it's getting better. I no longer have guilt over what I'm eating. I do, however, have worrying thoughts of failure. I'm afraid I am going to end up sabotaging my efforts. I'm afraid I am losing weight too quickly, and too easily. I'm afraid I am going to plateau and lose my momentum. It's silly, self-defeating talk that I need to stop.
I look at what I've accomplished in the last five weeks. Yes, just five weeks! I started this "diet" purely by chance. An upset stomach during my birthday weekend resulted in missing my birthday dinner at my favorite steak house. It morphed into a strange loss of taste for fatty, sugary foods. A reset button was pushed on my appetite and I am so grateful for it.
Five weeks later, I'm down from 291 to 264. I haven't been this "small" in three years or more. I'm anxious to get into the 250s soon, so I can comfortably say I'm back at my previous weight, the weight I was at when I met and married my first husband. The weight I stayed at for a good six years until I started a low carb crash diet. Five weeks is all it's taken me to lose 27 pounds. I feel smaller. When I put my hands on my hips, I can feel that my body has changed. My clothes are too loose. I bought a dress yesterday, and I plan to wear it out on a date with my husband on Thursday. I haven't comfortably worn a dress in a long time. I look at the number 264 and think it's way too large, too big, too unhealthy. In comparison to 291 it's a good number, and I need to be proud of not only having a smaller weight but the choices I'm making to get there.
Negative talk needs to stop, and I need to focus on the things I'm doing well. Easier said than done though.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
A breakthrough
I decided to do some shopping for clothes today. I haven't tried on clothes in several weeks, so I was surprised and very pleased to know I've gone down a size in shirt and in bottoms! I'm in a 22 again for the first time in a LOOOOONG time.
I also decided I am no longer going to be afraid of sleeveless shirts. It's summer. It's 110 degrees outside. It's ridiculous to hide behind sleeves because I think my arms are fat.
I found some tanks for $5 and I bought them. And I plan to wear them (out of the house even!), starting tomorrow.
I also decided I am no longer going to be afraid of sleeveless shirts. It's summer. It's 110 degrees outside. It's ridiculous to hide behind sleeves because I think my arms are fat.
I found some tanks for $5 and I bought them. And I plan to wear them (out of the house even!), starting tomorrow.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Working on getting motivated...
It's always nice to get away for a vacation, but it's so hard for me to get back into the groove of things when I get back. Yesterday I avoided the Wii like the plague. I also didn't walk the dog. I'm not sure what happened to my motivation, because today I don't feel like doing anything either. The good news? I'm still making great choices with food, and the scale very kindly read 268.6 this morning. Maybe I just need another cup or two of coffee to get me going this morning?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I'm back!
I had a great time visiting with family and old friends. It was wonderful to get away, but just as wonderful to be back. I did a decent job of eating well and walking every day. I'm pleased with myself and was very glad to see the scale say 269.2 this morning!!!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Daily stuff
272.0
Breakfast: 1/2 cantaloupe, peach with cottage cheese
Lunch: small bowl of leftover Mongolian bbq
Snack: Special K bar
Dinner: Dill salmon, 1/2 small piece of bread, 2/3 baked potato with just a little sour cream, salad with blue cheese on the side
Exercise: 46 min on Wii, 286 calories burned, also walked the dog a mile!
Getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see how well I'm able to continue exercising and eating well! :)
Breakfast: 1/2 cantaloupe, peach with cottage cheese
Lunch: small bowl of leftover Mongolian bbq
Snack: Special K bar
Dinner: Dill salmon, 1/2 small piece of bread, 2/3 baked potato with just a little sour cream, salad with blue cheese on the side
Exercise: 46 min on Wii, 286 calories burned, also walked the dog a mile!
Getting ready to leave on vacation tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see how well I'm able to continue exercising and eating well! :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Daily stuff
Weight:
273.2
Food:
Breakfast: 80 calorie bran muffin, 1/2 cantaloupe, coffee
Lunch: 1/2 veggie sandwich (roasted pepper, mozzarella cheese, avacado, sprouts, lettuce, tomato), cup of asparagus soup, 1/3 of Greek salad
Snack: Special K bar, mango, Ghirardeli chocolate square
Snack #2 (yeah, I was hungry today!): scoop of tuna, lettuce, tomato
Dinner: Innards of a chile-lime salmon burrito from Rubios, a few bites of beans
Exercise: 46 min on Wii, 344 cal burned! Also walked the dog a mile. :)
273.2
Food:
Breakfast: 80 calorie bran muffin, 1/2 cantaloupe, coffee
Lunch: 1/2 veggie sandwich (roasted pepper, mozzarella cheese, avacado, sprouts, lettuce, tomato), cup of asparagus soup, 1/3 of Greek salad
Snack: Special K bar, mango, Ghirardeli chocolate square
Snack #2 (yeah, I was hungry today!): scoop of tuna, lettuce, tomato
Dinner: Innards of a chile-lime salmon burrito from Rubios, a few bites of beans
Exercise: 46 min on Wii, 344 cal burned! Also walked the dog a mile. :)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
My day
Today was a really good day for me. I had lunch with my step-grandmother and got to spend some time visiting with her, which was really nice. I got a ton of exercise time in, ate well, and had an overall great day!
Breakfast: leftover veggie sandwich from last night, minus most of the bread, cottage cheese and a peach
Lunch: tuna stuffed tomato on a bed of lettuce, fresh fruit
Snack: Protein bar (kinda gross), granola with kefir, one Ghirardeli chocolate square
Dinner: Mongolian bbq (yes, again!), small dish of vanilla and chocolate froyo
Daily exercise: 45 min on the Wii, and another two miles walking later in the evening!
Breakfast: leftover veggie sandwich from last night, minus most of the bread, cottage cheese and a peach
Lunch: tuna stuffed tomato on a bed of lettuce, fresh fruit
Snack: Protein bar (kinda gross), granola with kefir, one Ghirardeli chocolate square
Dinner: Mongolian bbq (yes, again!), small dish of vanilla and chocolate froyo
Daily exercise: 45 min on the Wii, and another two miles walking later in the evening!
And the scale said...
An ultra-motivating 273.8. I don't feel like exercising today, but seeing that number on the scale this morning is enough to kick my butt into gear. I think I overdid it yesterday a bit, so I am going to tone it down some today. I'm thinking I'll go 30 minutes on the Wii this morning, then walk the dog this evening.
I knew the scale was going to be kind to me this morning when I woke up. For whatever reason, I just felt smaller. I love that feeling of knowing I'm shrinking and being able to feel it (finally!). I'm surprised at how much easier this has been than any of my battles with weight before. I think because in the past I took an all or nothing approach. I've done Atkins a few times with great success, only to go back to old ways of eating during stressful times. The difference with what I'm doing now is I'm consciously making better choices-- like eating broccoli instead of french fries. If there's something I really want, I eat it. Instead of eating the whole thing, though, I have a little bit. I had a small scoop of soy ice cream last night and it was delicious. I ate it slowly and tried to really savor the flavors of it, and a little was just enough.
I'm confident I will be able to maintain this way of eating for a long time. I know it's good for my body and it has finally given my mind the break it's needed for so long. There's no more negative dialogue going on in my head about what I'm eating. No more guilt, no more beating myself up for having three twinkies in three minutes just because they were there. I feel good about myself and the choices I'm making. It's an awesome feeling and I intend to keep doing it!
I knew the scale was going to be kind to me this morning when I woke up. For whatever reason, I just felt smaller. I love that feeling of knowing I'm shrinking and being able to feel it (finally!). I'm surprised at how much easier this has been than any of my battles with weight before. I think because in the past I took an all or nothing approach. I've done Atkins a few times with great success, only to go back to old ways of eating during stressful times. The difference with what I'm doing now is I'm consciously making better choices-- like eating broccoli instead of french fries. If there's something I really want, I eat it. Instead of eating the whole thing, though, I have a little bit. I had a small scoop of soy ice cream last night and it was delicious. I ate it slowly and tried to really savor the flavors of it, and a little was just enough.
I'm confident I will be able to maintain this way of eating for a long time. I know it's good for my body and it has finally given my mind the break it's needed for so long. There's no more negative dialogue going on in my head about what I'm eating. No more guilt, no more beating myself up for having three twinkies in three minutes just because they were there. I feel good about myself and the choices I'm making. It's an awesome feeling and I intend to keep doing it!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Daily food log
Breakfast: small bran muffin (80 cal) from Trader Joe's, 1/2 cup cottage cheese with peach
Lunch: Greek salad with dressing on side, 1/4 piece of bread, 1/4 pita with hummus, side of fruit
Snack: Fruit smoothie made with Greek yogurt, a little kefir, blueberries, pineapple, 1/2 an apple, 1/2 a banana, 1/2 scoop of vanilla Slimfast powder, and some carrots. Special K bar a little after the smoothie.
Dinner: 1/2 open faced veggie sandwich (goat cheese, spinach, squash, grilled sweet potato, roasted red pepper), corn & bean salad, bowl of minestrone soup.
I feel like I'm eating a TON of fruit today. I know that's not horrible, considering I had fruit for dessert instead of pie at lunch. I also exercised for 1 hour and 5 minutes on the Wii this morning, burning 452 calories. And guess what?!? I did a 10 minute walk/jog, jogging for more than I walked. Holy wow! I walked the dog a mile after dinner. Great day food AND exercise-wise!
Lunch: Greek salad with dressing on side, 1/4 piece of bread, 1/4 pita with hummus, side of fruit
Snack: Fruit smoothie made with Greek yogurt, a little kefir, blueberries, pineapple, 1/2 an apple, 1/2 a banana, 1/2 scoop of vanilla Slimfast powder, and some carrots. Special K bar a little after the smoothie.
Dinner: 1/2 open faced veggie sandwich (goat cheese, spinach, squash, grilled sweet potato, roasted red pepper), corn & bean salad, bowl of minestrone soup.
I feel like I'm eating a TON of fruit today. I know that's not horrible, considering I had fruit for dessert instead of pie at lunch. I also exercised for 1 hour and 5 minutes on the Wii this morning, burning 452 calories. And guess what?!? I did a 10 minute walk/jog, jogging for more than I walked. Holy wow! I walked the dog a mile after dinner. Great day food AND exercise-wise!
Feeling successful
Today's weight: 275.2
I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a number this low on the scale. I'm worried it's not real-- that means I've lost over 1.5 lbs in a day?!? In the last two days, I have added GNC's energy and metabolism vitamins, and I've upped my exercise to at least an hour a day. Maybe it's really working? Not going to over-analyze, just going to accept and be pleased with my efforts. It's not about a number anyway, right?
I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a number this low on the scale. I'm worried it's not real-- that means I've lost over 1.5 lbs in a day?!? In the last two days, I have added GNC's energy and metabolism vitamins, and I've upped my exercise to at least an hour a day. Maybe it's really working? Not going to over-analyze, just going to accept and be pleased with my efforts. It's not about a number anyway, right?
Friday, June 10, 2011
Daily food
Breakfast: smoothie made with 1/2 scoop Slimfast powder, mango, mixed berries, Greek yogurt and an egg.
Lunch: see photo below!
Snack: Special K double chocolate bar-- YUM! Handful of walnuts.
Dinner: Leftover stirfry from last night, 3 bites of cottage cheese and one Ghirardeli chocolate square.
I worked out for over an hour on the Wii as well today!
Continuing to make good food choices, and that makes me very proud. Also, since I know for a fact I haven't eaten anything fried in the last two weeks, I want to challenge myself to eat nothing fried for the entire month! I think I can do it, though it will be hard since I'm going on vacation on Wednesday!
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Lunch: see photo below!
Snack: Special K double chocolate bar-- YUM! Handful of walnuts.
Dinner: Leftover stirfry from last night, 3 bites of cottage cheese and one Ghirardeli chocolate square.
I worked out for over an hour on the Wii as well today!
Continuing to make good food choices, and that makes me very proud. Also, since I know for a fact I haven't eaten anything fried in the last two weeks, I want to challenge myself to eat nothing fried for the entire month! I think I can do it, though it will be hard since I'm going on vacation on Wednesday!
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Lunch
The day after...
276.8! I'll take it!
I'm stiff and sore from playing the Wii. I find that both exciting and hilarious! I never imagined a video game could actually give me a decent workout, but it has.
Part of my mission today will be to find some workout clothes. Not an easy thing to do when you're a size 24/26 waist and at least a 3x shirt. I need spandex shorts, like bike shorts, to keep my thighs from rubbing together. I'd also like a sleeveless top with a low neck to help me stay cool as I move around. This is an outfit I'm definitely not ready to leave the house in, but since I'm working indoors and in the privacy of my own home, I think it's all good.
Fortunately my husband has not laughed too much at me yet. It's kind of nice actually. I was afraid I'd be too embarrassed to work out in front of him, just because of how awful and uncoordinated and flabby I must look. He was extremely supportive and at one time was even cheering me on as I was doing one of the games. When I was finished and told him how much I'd done, he said he was very happy to see me so excited and he was very proud of me. That made me feel really good.
In other news... getting ready for my trip to TN next week to see my grandmother. Should be a lot of fun, as I'll get to see my mom, my brother and his wife, and my niece and nephew.
I'm stiff and sore from playing the Wii. I find that both exciting and hilarious! I never imagined a video game could actually give me a decent workout, but it has.
Part of my mission today will be to find some workout clothes. Not an easy thing to do when you're a size 24/26 waist and at least a 3x shirt. I need spandex shorts, like bike shorts, to keep my thighs from rubbing together. I'd also like a sleeveless top with a low neck to help me stay cool as I move around. This is an outfit I'm definitely not ready to leave the house in, but since I'm working indoors and in the privacy of my own home, I think it's all good.
Fortunately my husband has not laughed too much at me yet. It's kind of nice actually. I was afraid I'd be too embarrassed to work out in front of him, just because of how awful and uncoordinated and flabby I must look. He was extremely supportive and at one time was even cheering me on as I was doing one of the games. When I was finished and told him how much I'd done, he said he was very happy to see me so excited and he was very proud of me. That made me feel really good.
In other news... getting ready for my trip to TN next week to see my grandmother. Should be a lot of fun, as I'll get to see my mom, my brother and his wife, and my niece and nephew.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Fantabulous!
Can I just say, I am in love with my Wii? I wasn't so enamored with it just a few days ago. Today I got BOTH the Wii Fit Plus AND Dance Dance Revolution. I am confident these games are going to transform this couch potato into a workout-aholic! Holy cow! I logged over an hour and a half of great workout time today and I feel fantastic!
Food today went well too! All around fantastic day!
Breakfast-- coffee with a splash of half and half, then a shake made with 1/2 scoop vanilla slimfast, 1/2 banana, some mango, a peach, a little pineapple, an egg and a splash of soy milk. YUM!
Lunch-- Paradise Bakery! Cup of fire roasted tomato soup, 1/2 a turkey sandwich on whole grain bread (ditched the top piece). 1/2 of a chocolate chip cookie-- couldn't resist!
Snack-- Slimfast bar. Not the greatest choice, but it was fast and easy.
Dinner-- YC's Mongolian BBQ! I had some chicken soup and a little bit of my stir fry. Brought the rest home to enjoy tomorrow!
I'm loving being on vacation and really proud of what I'm accomplishing so far!!
Food today went well too! All around fantastic day!
Breakfast-- coffee with a splash of half and half, then a shake made with 1/2 scoop vanilla slimfast, 1/2 banana, some mango, a peach, a little pineapple, an egg and a splash of soy milk. YUM!
Lunch-- Paradise Bakery! Cup of fire roasted tomato soup, 1/2 a turkey sandwich on whole grain bread (ditched the top piece). 1/2 of a chocolate chip cookie-- couldn't resist!
Snack-- Slimfast bar. Not the greatest choice, but it was fast and easy.
Dinner-- YC's Mongolian BBQ! I had some chicken soup and a little bit of my stir fry. Brought the rest home to enjoy tomorrow!
I'm loving being on vacation and really proud of what I'm accomplishing so far!!
Yes!!! Finally!
276.8! Going in the right direction!
Getting my wii fit plus today too. Who would've thought I'd be this excited about anything exercise related?!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Getting my wii fit plus today too. Who would've thought I'd be this excited about anything exercise related?!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sporadic!
My posts are ridiculously sporadic, and I know that. Adjusting to a new schedule isn't easy!
I think it would be good for me to start journaling about food I eat. I may even try to send some photos as well. We'll see.
But anyway... here's today's eats so far:
Breakfast: blended smoothie, made with chocolate slimfast powder, an egg (yes, I ate a raw egg!), walnuts, Greek yogurt and a 1/2 a banana. It was so delicious and really filling!
Snack: 1/2 granola bar, blueberries
Lunch: 6" turkey sub from subway, minus about 1/2 of the bread, loaded with veggies and topped with mustard. 1/2 dill pickle. Pineapple for dessert.
Dinner: SW chicken sandwiches (grilled chicken, grilled hatch chilis, pepperjack cheese on a sandwich thin), broccoli with lemon juice, salad with a tiny amount of dressing, and cottage cheese with a peach.
Snack: fresh mango and blueberries
Exercise: 30 min walk/jog with the dog
I'm really proud of myself for what I'm doing. Making smarter choices and incorporating more fruits and veggies into my eating. It's been surprisingly easy and I'm really happy about that!
Considering getting a Wii fit... not sure yet, need to do some more research.
I think it would be good for me to start journaling about food I eat. I may even try to send some photos as well. We'll see.
But anyway... here's today's eats so far:
Breakfast: blended smoothie, made with chocolate slimfast powder, an egg (yes, I ate a raw egg!), walnuts, Greek yogurt and a 1/2 a banana. It was so delicious and really filling!
Snack: 1/2 granola bar, blueberries
Lunch: 6" turkey sub from subway, minus about 1/2 of the bread, loaded with veggies and topped with mustard. 1/2 dill pickle. Pineapple for dessert.
Dinner: SW chicken sandwiches (grilled chicken, grilled hatch chilis, pepperjack cheese on a sandwich thin), broccoli with lemon juice, salad with a tiny amount of dressing, and cottage cheese with a peach.
Snack: fresh mango and blueberries
Exercise: 30 min walk/jog with the dog
I'm really proud of myself for what I'm doing. Making smarter choices and incorporating more fruits and veggies into my eating. It's been surprisingly easy and I'm really happy about that!
Considering getting a Wii fit... not sure yet, need to do some more research.
positivity
277.4 again today.
I'm refusing to get frustrated. Yesterday I wore a pair of shorts that I have been wearing, but normally they are tight. Without thinking, I pulled them off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I'm going to believe this means I'm losing some weight, or at least some inches. I'm staying positive despite what the scale says, because I know I am making excellent choices for my body and my health. I mean, we went to Logan's last night and I had salmon, half a plain baked sweet potato and a side salad with just a tiny bit of dressing. I completely avoided the yeast rolls. GO ME!!!
I'm refusing to get frustrated. Yesterday I wore a pair of shorts that I have been wearing, but normally they are tight. Without thinking, I pulled them off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. I'm going to believe this means I'm losing some weight, or at least some inches. I'm staying positive despite what the scale says, because I know I am making excellent choices for my body and my health. I mean, we went to Logan's last night and I had salmon, half a plain baked sweet potato and a side salad with just a tiny bit of dressing. I completely avoided the yeast rolls. GO ME!!!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I hate the scale
I officially want to throw my scale out the window. I want to see it shatter into a thousand pieces. I've gained four pounds since yesterday. Four pounds?!? How is that possible? I've cut out sugar, white flour and fried foods. I drink a ton of water and I'm walking at least 30 min almost every day. I'm going to chalk it up to water weight gain, and shrug it off, but it's soooo hard!
Monday, June 6, 2011
ARGH!!!
277.6
So the trend continues and I'm GAINING. I'm going to attribute it to water weight (yeah, that's it!) and keep pushing forward.
I don't think I'm going to make the mini-goal I had set of being under 270 when I go on vacation on the 15th. It's OK, though. I have to remember that it's alright and I'm doing a great thing by changing my eating habits. I'm being very mindful about what I'm eating, and I have almost completely cut out white flour and sugar from my diet. This is a HUGE step for me.
So the trend continues and I'm GAINING. I'm going to attribute it to water weight (yeah, that's it!) and keep pushing forward.
I don't think I'm going to make the mini-goal I had set of being under 270 when I go on vacation on the 15th. It's OK, though. I have to remember that it's alright and I'm doing a great thing by changing my eating habits. I'm being very mindful about what I'm eating, and I have almost completely cut out white flour and sugar from my diet. This is a HUGE step for me.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I'm gaining?!?
Yes, I'm gaining weight. Steadily.
June 2 I was 276.0
June 3 I was 276.8
June 4 I was 277.2
Today I'm at 277.4
WHAT THE HECK?
I'm not going to get frustrated, not going to give up.
I KNOW I shouldn't be weighing myself every day, but the OCD me can't help it.
I'm going to continue doing what I've been doing, because I'm proud of myself for it. I'm making great strides in reducing/eliminating carbs from my diet and adding exercise. AND I've had a rough last couple of days. I went to afternoon tea on Friday with my stepmom and her mom, where I ate a bunch of finger sandwiches and some scones. Yesterday was my niece's birthday and I ate some pizza and cake. I shouldn't expect EVERY day to be a great day, right? Life happens, and I'm going to have days where I eat things I shouldn't. The most important thing is that I TRY to make better choices over all, and I did that yesterday by ordering salmon for dinner instead off prime rib. Go me n stuff!
June 2 I was 276.0
June 3 I was 276.8
June 4 I was 277.2
Today I'm at 277.4
WHAT THE HECK?
I'm not going to get frustrated, not going to give up.
I KNOW I shouldn't be weighing myself every day, but the OCD me can't help it.
I'm going to continue doing what I've been doing, because I'm proud of myself for it. I'm making great strides in reducing/eliminating carbs from my diet and adding exercise. AND I've had a rough last couple of days. I went to afternoon tea on Friday with my stepmom and her mom, where I ate a bunch of finger sandwiches and some scones. Yesterday was my niece's birthday and I ate some pizza and cake. I shouldn't expect EVERY day to be a great day, right? Life happens, and I'm going to have days where I eat things I shouldn't. The most important thing is that I TRY to make better choices over all, and I did that yesterday by ordering salmon for dinner instead off prime rib. Go me n stuff!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Today
It was a tough day, but I think I made the most of it. My niece had her birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza, and I made the mistake of not eating before we went. Two pieces of pizza and a piece of cake later, I wanted to slap myself. Dinner was better-- we went to Outback with some friends and I had salmon and veggies, with no butter.
I actually did a little jogging during my walk with the dog tonight. Yes, me. Yes, jogged. Not far, mind you, but still. I'm proud of myself.
I actually did a little jogging during my walk with the dog tonight. Yes, me. Yes, jogged. Not far, mind you, but still. I'm proud of myself.
First post
I decided I needed a place to blab about my efforts to lose weight. I'm serious about it this time. I have no choice. I'm 36 years old and tired of being unhealthy. Yes, I'd love to be skinny and "hot". I know that is most likely not going to ever happen. I've come to terms with that, and I'm working now on becoming more healthy. This means making better food choices and being mindful of my portions. I'm not following any specific weight loss plan, rather I am trying to cut out all sugar and white flour. I'm also making a conscientious effort to exercise more.
I have been following this for about two weeks now, and I'm very pleased with the results I am already seeing. I didn't buy a scale until I was more than a week into this change, so I'm using my start weight of 291, which is what I weighed the last time I went to the doctor.
This morning I weighed in at 277.2.
I have been following this for about two weeks now, and I'm very pleased with the results I am already seeing. I didn't buy a scale until I was more than a week into this change, so I'm using my start weight of 291, which is what I weighed the last time I went to the doctor.
This morning I weighed in at 277.2.
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