Yesterday at the gym I did something to my calf. I was doing the circuit, and had finished the leg press and moved to the step for cardio work. As I stepped down off the box, I felt a pop in my right calf. It was very bizarre because I heard it-- it sounded like my knee popping but lower. As soon as I tried to put any weight on my calf, I felt a sharp pain. I managed to hobble out of the gym an drive myself home, where I put the leg up and had some hydrocodone to help me sleep. It feels a little better today, but I still took the day off. My job requires me to do a lot of walking and I just wasn't up for that. So now I'm just waiting for my doctor's office to open so I can try to get in to see him today. I figure I need to get bloodwork done anyway, so I may as well go see him and kill two birds with one stone (and one co-pay).
I'm anxious about having this entire day off with nothing to do and limited mobility. I'm normally up and about so much all day every day, I'm not sure how I'm going to keep from going stir crazy.
I'm a little scared too. I've really been enjoying my workouts and I don't want to have to take too much time away from that. My husband says we can just work upper body while the leg heals, which is good I guess. I just don't want to get into my old pattern of eating a lot and not working out. I get that I may gain a little weight while I'm nursing this injury, but I don't want to lose the routine I've got going that includes intense exercise several times a week. I guess I'll just have to see what the doc says.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
shopping
I did some major shopping this weekend! I spent more money than I should have, but I love what I got. I bought myself a pair of running shoes AND a pair of cross trainers at the Nike outlet on Friday. I'm in love with these shoes!!! I also got some new jeans at Old Navy. Yes, I'm able to fit into stuff at Old Navy again! It's been YEARS since their stuff fits! I got a sweatshirt and some pj pants too, and would you believe the XXL pj pants I got are a little too big?!? The size 18 jeans fit well, but a little loose too. I'm amazed. For as long as I can remember, I've had to shop at the plus size stores, and now I'm fitting into things at regular stores!?!
I plan to work out and be more mindful of what I'm eating between now and Christmas, because I know I'll be eating a lot over the holiday! I've done alright over this Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm not displeased at all with my weight as of this morning-- 226.4. Having to put the cat down was extremely stressful and I ate a lot last week, then ate a lot on Thanksgiving. I know my workouts have helped keep the weight semi-stable, and that's good. I'm enjoying working out a lot. It makes me feel so much better to be active, so my other goal is to work out at least three times a week. So far this has not been a problem at all, and I've been able to work out as much as six times a week. I'm varying my workouts and have moved to weights, paying particular attention now to my arms. My arms have been pretty much ignored as I've been working on cardio and legs.
Anyway... that's pretty much it from here for now. :)
I plan to work out and be more mindful of what I'm eating between now and Christmas, because I know I'll be eating a lot over the holiday! I've done alright over this Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm not displeased at all with my weight as of this morning-- 226.4. Having to put the cat down was extremely stressful and I ate a lot last week, then ate a lot on Thanksgiving. I know my workouts have helped keep the weight semi-stable, and that's good. I'm enjoying working out a lot. It makes me feel so much better to be active, so my other goal is to work out at least three times a week. So far this has not been a problem at all, and I've been able to work out as much as six times a week. I'm varying my workouts and have moved to weights, paying particular attention now to my arms. My arms have been pretty much ignored as I've been working on cardio and legs.
Anyway... that's pretty much it from here for now. :)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Gain!
I'm not surprised to see the scale creeping up. This has been a horribly stressful week, with having to put my ancient cat down on Thursday. I got her when she was already grown and old and she was with me for 17 years. Needless to say, the stress of losing her has seen me voraciously attacking cookies, candy and many other not so good for me foods. I'm continuing to exercise, and I figure as long as I stay active it's all good. Besides that, I am not dissatisfied at all with my current weight. That seems strange to say, considering I'm still over 200 pounds. I look at myself in the mirror though and I like what I see. Yeah, I'd like to lose some more weight, but I know that will happen in time so I'm not really stressed about it.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
My first 5k and other things!
I'm doing really well and I'm extremely proud of the progress I'm making. I had a little spell there during September where I was feeling overwhelmed and was relying on chocolate and desserts to make me feel better. I've recently found myfitnesspal.com, and it's helping me track my eating a little better. I've been using it for just over a week now and I am having great success so far. The OCD in me loves the tracking aspect of this program!
Last week I completed my first race. It was so much fun! I'm extremely proud of myself for running the entire thing. My time was 41:52, which is good for me. It means about a 13 minute mile. I did the race to raise money for pancreatic cancer research, and in honor of my step-grandmother who is currently battling pancreatic cancer. It was such an emotional day on so many levels because not only was I doing it for her, I was doing it for myself. Six months ago I weighed almost 300 pounds and couldn't imagine that I would enjoy running. I cried when I crossed the finish line and I'm already looking to see when my next race will be.
This morning I got up early and did 4.7 miles. I walked 1.2 of that and ran the rest. It took me a long time but it's all good; I wasn't familiar with the course and there were some big hills I'm not used to. I love waking up early and running. It just makes me feel so good for the whole rest of the day.
I'm on track for my mini-goal of losing ten pounds to receive a reward of shoes I want. My start weight for that was 231 and I've got to lose 10 pounds. Today I weighed in at 225.6, so as long as I can hold it together and not go crazy at Thanksgiving, I should be at 221 sometime around the first of December. It would be awesome to go into a new year at my next big goal of 212, but I don't know. We'll see.
Last week I completed my first race. It was so much fun! I'm extremely proud of myself for running the entire thing. My time was 41:52, which is good for me. It means about a 13 minute mile. I did the race to raise money for pancreatic cancer research, and in honor of my step-grandmother who is currently battling pancreatic cancer. It was such an emotional day on so many levels because not only was I doing it for her, I was doing it for myself. Six months ago I weighed almost 300 pounds and couldn't imagine that I would enjoy running. I cried when I crossed the finish line and I'm already looking to see when my next race will be.
This morning I got up early and did 4.7 miles. I walked 1.2 of that and ran the rest. It took me a long time but it's all good; I wasn't familiar with the course and there were some big hills I'm not used to. I love waking up early and running. It just makes me feel so good for the whole rest of the day.
I'm on track for my mini-goal of losing ten pounds to receive a reward of shoes I want. My start weight for that was 231 and I've got to lose 10 pounds. Today I weighed in at 225.6, so as long as I can hold it together and not go crazy at Thanksgiving, I should be at 221 sometime around the first of December. It would be awesome to go into a new year at my next big goal of 212, but I don't know. We'll see.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
thoughts on my body
I received an amazing compliment from a co-worker yesterday. He told me I am an amazing woman, and an inspiration to him and others. He asked me about the 5K I'm running tomorrow and told me I am inspiring him to try and do more exercising. He also said he's so amazed at how much I've accomplished in the last three years, not just physically but personally and professionally. (I know he wasn't flirting with me either, because he's not into women...)
Anyway that got me thinking. It's interesting to me that I've now lost over 60 pounds. Yes. Me. Over sixty pounds lighter. And do you know what? I STILL FEEL FAT AND FLABBY. Yes, I do have a lot more weight to lose. Ideally I'd like to get to around 150-160, which means I have another 70 pounds or so to lose. In my mind I'm chunking that up into more doable mini-goals... I've set a goal to be at 221 by Christmas, which will mean a 10 pound loss from last week. I should be able to lose ten pounds in the six or so weeks left until Christmas. I don't usually do tangible rewards for weight loss, but there's a pair of sparkly purple Vans I have my eye on and I've promised myself those when I hit 221. When I reach 212, I'll be at the lowest weight I've been in 15+ years. After that is the under 200, and just beyond that is the 100 pound loss mark. I know I can continue to lose weight because it's become easy for me. I enjoy exercising and I'm very careful about what I eat now.
I should be proud of myself and excited about how far I've come already, right? I shouldn't feel flabby and unattractive. Clothes shopping is fun for me now because everything I try on fits. I'm not the biggest size in the store and praying they have something that will just be comfortable and not make me feel like a whale. I'm able to try on lots of things and find things that look good.
So why is it that when I look in the mirror, all I see is my giant, flabulous stomach? My legs are amazing. They're pretty much solid muscle. Seriously, you should see them. I'm quite proud of my legs. My arms have shrunk a lot too. My face has a shape again. My breasts have held their own and haven't shrunk too badly. But my stomach. It just hangs there and sticks out. In my mind I know it's much, much smaller than it was and I wonder how in the world I ever carried it around? It seems so big NOW! I can't imagine it was ever smaller!
I know a lot of this is my own body image issue. I'm doing amazing work. I'm down from a pant size 26 to an 18-20 depending on the cut. I'm able to wear an XL shirt instead of a 3X. I have so much more energy than I ever thought possible. I don't hurt getting up off the floor. I'm running 3+ miles several times a week and doing weight training in between. I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with how I look? I wonder if anyone is?
Anyway that got me thinking. It's interesting to me that I've now lost over 60 pounds. Yes. Me. Over sixty pounds lighter. And do you know what? I STILL FEEL FAT AND FLABBY. Yes, I do have a lot more weight to lose. Ideally I'd like to get to around 150-160, which means I have another 70 pounds or so to lose. In my mind I'm chunking that up into more doable mini-goals... I've set a goal to be at 221 by Christmas, which will mean a 10 pound loss from last week. I should be able to lose ten pounds in the six or so weeks left until Christmas. I don't usually do tangible rewards for weight loss, but there's a pair of sparkly purple Vans I have my eye on and I've promised myself those when I hit 221. When I reach 212, I'll be at the lowest weight I've been in 15+ years. After that is the under 200, and just beyond that is the 100 pound loss mark. I know I can continue to lose weight because it's become easy for me. I enjoy exercising and I'm very careful about what I eat now.
I should be proud of myself and excited about how far I've come already, right? I shouldn't feel flabby and unattractive. Clothes shopping is fun for me now because everything I try on fits. I'm not the biggest size in the store and praying they have something that will just be comfortable and not make me feel like a whale. I'm able to try on lots of things and find things that look good.
So why is it that when I look in the mirror, all I see is my giant, flabulous stomach? My legs are amazing. They're pretty much solid muscle. Seriously, you should see them. I'm quite proud of my legs. My arms have shrunk a lot too. My face has a shape again. My breasts have held their own and haven't shrunk too badly. But my stomach. It just hangs there and sticks out. In my mind I know it's much, much smaller than it was and I wonder how in the world I ever carried it around? It seems so big NOW! I can't imagine it was ever smaller!
I know a lot of this is my own body image issue. I'm doing amazing work. I'm down from a pant size 26 to an 18-20 depending on the cut. I'm able to wear an XL shirt instead of a 3X. I have so much more energy than I ever thought possible. I don't hurt getting up off the floor. I'm running 3+ miles several times a week and doing weight training in between. I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with how I look? I wonder if anyone is?
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