forever!

Goodness it's been awhile since I wrote.
I'm doing well... it took me awhile to accept I was plateaued.  After watching the weight pretty much melt off, seeing no movement on the scale was frustrating.  I learned to accept it, go on with it, and keep doing what I was doing. 
I've started to see a little movement in the scale in the last two weeks.  I'm beginning to flirt with the idea of being under 200, and that's really motivating me.  I gave up caffeine last week and so far I'm doing just fine with that. 

Update

I've had a little "hiccup" with my motivation.
My weight is up, but fortunately only slightly.  I can cope with a 2-3 pound gain.  I'm confident I will be back where I was in no time.
I feel amazing.  Yoga has helped me be centered and in touch with my body.  Now I've just got to work on getting my eating back under control.

and the doc said...

I had an appointment for my yearly with the gyno today.  She was THRILLED with how I'm doing.  By her scale, I'm down 68 pounds.  My blood pressure has gone from 120/76 to 104/66.  All of my bloodwork looks amazing and I couldn't be happier.  I am still overweight and would like to lose more, but the progress I've made is awesome.  I'm so happy to be this healthy!  What a difference 10 months can make!

slow!

The weight is coming off slowly now and I honestly don't mind.  I'm exercising regularly so now it's toning more than weight loss.  I'm in 14s and XL tops, which means I can shop in regular stores.  My BMI has gone from 47 to 35.  My confidence has gone from 10 to 100.  I feel good, I look good, and I am proud of myself.  I know more weight will continue to come off, and I'm ok with that happening slowly.  I never wanted to feel like I was being deprived of anything, and I never wanted to beat myself up if I did eat something like a brownie.  Having done low carb in the past has messed with my head in that regard for sure, because I do still sometimes get down on myself when I eat something that isn't the healthiest choice.  I'm working on that.

the scale

I've moved it into the closed spare bedroom.  I cannot tell you what a relief it is to not be weighing every day.

hey!

No, I didn't disappear!  Life has been incredibly hectic and busy lately, and I have stopped obsessing about my eating and exercising because it's become routine.  I work out at least four times a week.  And by work out, I mean exercise!  Some days it's 20 min hard on the elliptical followed by weights, or I might run 4 miles or bike 7+.  I love exercising!  Not the actual exercise, but the feeling of accomplishment afterward.  My goal is to be comfortable enough with my body to wear sleeveless tops this summer and NOT freak out about how flabby my arms are.
Speaking of body comfort, I'm still a bit disgusted with my stomach.  Otherwise I'm happy with my body for the most part.  Wait-- did I just say that?  Yes!  I did!  I've lost a lot of weight in my face, which pleases me greatly.  My legs are rock solid.  My arms are getting there.  I haven't lost my boobs, which is good and bad.  I'm way top heavy for sure.  People are often amazed when I put my wide belt on over my shirt-- they don't realize I have a waist because of my boobs!  My stomach though... it's still flabby and BIG.  At least I think it is.  It sticks out a lot.  If I could change one thing about my body it would definitely be my stomach.  I guess we'll see what happens as I keep working out.  I've only been at it for 9 months now and you can't expect miracles overnight, right?

slacking more

I've been slacking on my blog.  Sorry.
On the weight loss front, I'm in plateau stage.  Big time.  I expected it, considering I dropped almost 70# in 7 months and have allowed desserts to creep back into my daily routine.  I'm working on it.  Today was day two of cleaner eating.  One think I've been really good about is exercising.  I religiously work out vigorously at least 4 times a week.  I'm talking 45-60 minute workouts where I sweat a lot.  Today I finished a treadmill 5k in under 35 minutes.  I didn't run the whole way, but over half so that's good.
I'm excited to start losing again.  I know I can and I know I need to.  My work here isn't done!

satisfied?

I'm struggling lately because I have plateaued.  I'm seeing a minimal loss lately, and even a gain sometimes.  Nothing major-- I'm just fluctuating between 221-223.  I'm sure a lot of it is water retention due to my period, or something similar, but it's frustrating when I'm used to seeing consistent loss each week.  I'm not dissatisfied though.  I'm down about 70 pounds since I started this journey in June.  That's a lot of weight!  I look better, I feel amazingly better, I'm able to shop in "regular" stores and I have so much more energy than I have in a long, long time.  Why is it then that I am disgusted with my huge flabby stomach?  It seriously sticks way out and just hangs there.  When I run, it flops around if I'm not wearing the right clothing.  I guess everyone has something they dislike about their body and that's mine?  I don't know.  I just wish I could be completely satisfied with my body for once.
In other news, I'm quickly shaving time off my mile time.  Yesterday I was under 11 minutes.  Still waaaaaay slow by most peoples' standards, and I'm no way ready for a marathon or even a half marathon, but it's an accomplishment for me... especially when you consider I remember huffing and puffing my way through a 15 minute mile jog.

alrighty then

This week I celebrated the arrival of the 220's and with it the claim to a 70 lb loss.  Of course the day after I saw that, I was a pound heavier and I haven't been able to get back down to the  220 mark since.  It will happen, I'm sure.  I've been very careful about what I'm eating, I've been working out and I feel fantastic, so it's all good.
I did some shopping last weekend.  I'm between a size 16 and 18 in pants, shirts are an XL.  It is amazing to be able to walk into stores like Old Navy and the Gap and walk out with clothes that FIT... and clothes in an XL, not an XXL that FIT! 
Next up:  reaching the 213 mark, which is the lowest adult weight I can remember since college.  I hit this mark in 2006 by low carb dieting.  I wasn't exercising, just eating very few carbs every day.  I'm not sure how I did that, considering how much I love my desserts!!!

ugh

I'm not happy with my decision to make brownies for my students tonight.  It resulted in me consuming waaaaay more of them than I should have.
On the upside, I did have a great workout at the gym this evening.

weekends

Weekends are hard for me, especially long weekends, when it comes to staying on plan.  I have done pretty well overall this weekend, but there are some things I could do differently.  My husband made a turkey and we had a full turkey dinner Friday night and last night.  It was sooooo delicious.  I love cranberry the combination of sauce, stuffing and turkey.  I went for a long walk (75 min) yesterday which was nice.  My weight is up from Saturday, probably due to the added carbs and salt I've been eating.  I'm not worried too much, though I hate to see the scale go up!

bravo!

I feel fantastic and I'm seeing results again.  It feels fabulous.  I'm proud of myself again.  I don't wake up craving cookies.  In fact, strangely enough, at lunch today our sandwiches came with chocolate chip cookies.  I ate about half of mine and pitched it.  I just didn't want it anymore.  Weird but true. 
222.2 today.  New goal is to lose as much as I can by April 17, the five year anniversary of the day I hit absolute rock bottom and left my ex-husband.  We'll see how much I can take off by then!

I'm back!

After a brief holiday hiatus and a not so lovely gain of 7 lbs, I'm back.  Yep, the highest weight I recorded after the break was 228.  That puts me up almost 7 pounds.  To my great joy, a lot of it must have been water weight, because I'm back down to 223.8 today.  I'll take it!
I've worked out three times this week.  Today I did a 5k and beat my best time by a minute.  Next goal is to get that to under 40 minutes.  Totally doable!
I've started using the blender to have smoothies in the morning.  I put everything in them-- Greek yogurt, spinach, broccoli, flax meal, kale, a raw egg and berries.  They're actually really good.

final day of vacation

Today is finally the final day of my winter break.  I'm itching to go back to work.  I'm so bored and restless and ready to get back to the routine of work, working out and eating well.  I've had too much time to sit around the house doing nothing.  It results in massive snacking of not so good foods.  I'll have an official re-weigh on Monday morning, but today I was a 225.4.  That's like a four pound gain.  Not horrible and not at all surprising.  I can work with that. 

I've rediscovered how much fun it is to roller skate.  I went with my nieces on Wednesday and plan to go again today.  I haven't skated in over 20 years, and I was afraid I'd be horrible.  Once I got the hang of it, I was actually still good.  And it's so much fun!

In other news, I've been itching to go shopping, but I haven't because there's nothing I need.  I'd like some more new clothes, especially since trying on clothes is fun now... but I'm going to wait until I start dropping weight again.  I'm anxious to hit the 213 mark, which is the lowest weight I can remember being in a loooooong time.  Once I get there, I might consider some new things.

up

I'm way up.  4+ pounds up.  It's all good though.  I'll be back on track soon, and a 4ish pound gain over the holidays isn't awful.

a new year!

Happy 2012!  I'm starting the year off with a cold, which is no fun!  I had hoped to be out for a run today, but no such luck.  My lungs are burning and I barely have a voice.  I can't seem to keep away from the leftover cookies and cake, which isn't helping anything.  I was at 223.6 this morning; I'm surprised it wasn't more.  I've got another week off work, which is good.  Time to rest and get better.  My plan is to focus more carefully on diet and exercise when I head back to work.  For now, I'm just being gentle with myself.  I'm not one for making new years resolutions, so it's all good.  I don't feel like I'll really be making much of a change to anything anyway, just going back to what I was doing a few weeks ago before the holiday madness started.